You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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