She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
