Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
