She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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