No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
