franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
