She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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