my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
