the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's shark week go big or go home
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
