all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
