Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
