oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
