i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
