He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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