Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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