Michael Bay diarrhea
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Everything about him screamed your future.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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