some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
