If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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