So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
