Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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