Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
