ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
