So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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