I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
