My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
