omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
