Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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