Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
