my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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