so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
