u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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