Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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