I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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