It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
