I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
