I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
