im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let's paint friendship bongs
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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