We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
this boner is exhausting
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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