I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
