Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
