I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
