I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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