Screwed.edu
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
