He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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