Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Boobs speak an international language.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
