god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
