lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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