Jerry, you need to find god
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No subtext here. People are naked.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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