Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
