I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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