Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize