The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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