how can u be prego again
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize