all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
