I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So vagazzling was a success
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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