Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
