When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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