And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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