We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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