drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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