how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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