I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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