We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
