his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
