Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
