I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
