a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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