Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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