Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
