Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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