Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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