She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The best revenge is premature balding
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
