Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize