i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
