you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
